8708

+ wings
shihan

mann. i'm sooo refraining from sitting the laptop onto my lap. well if you haven't heard there's some scientific explanation about how women and men shouldn't sit a laptop on them because it will make you sterile...i'm going to look into that later.

but yea so i've been reading a woman's blog (rebecca) and everytime i read it ( not in a stalker type of way), I want to thank her because sometimes the things she says is what i can't express and she says it in thee exact form and phrases that i would want to but wouldn't know how to.

+speechless
beyonce

how ironic (see above lol)
but i think i have this problem where i get so overwhelmed with my emotions that I don't know how to express myself when it seems most important. But when i'm being a smartass (which i'm working on) I can express myself very freely. I have an attitude problem and I need to solve it. Also, I was looking over my previous entry and I think i was...again overwhelmed with my emotions and overwhelmed with the fact of following everyone else since i've been told that I am very easily influenced. (another thing i'm trying to work on) but i had an epiphany and realized i need a break from guys and although i've said it before i'm just gunna wait for some person to "sweep me off my feet" although it's a mere fairytale i can't help but imagine. wat's the harm in that? but i did realize that what i'm really looking for is not a boyfriend but someone who's always there. someone who doesn't expect committment...not a boy toy or anything...not a fuxk buddy either cuz that's wrong on so many levels...i don't know...something less vulgar. like becca usually says this was totally not meant to be a girlish sounding entry. these are my thoughts that need to escape from my head or else they will be all i think about. when i talk about having "the one" or "someone special" i feel so co-dependent and i hate that. I jus want the most difficult thing to grasp in life. i think it's time for a metamorphasis.

can you say transformation?