soo...

i'm patiently...well anxiously awaiting for aaryn to get back. mann i miss her, she foreal my sis && it's been basically 3 weeks since i've talked to her...well besides goin to teen vogue. but today was eventful..nt really

• went to the homie bilal's house. cooked me chicken. first doode that's EVER cooked for me. take notes guys lol then took the bus...yes i said it...the bus (w. my saddity self lol) [i bet i'm the only girl that calls herself saddity lmao] to downtown culver city and met up w. the homie gage and met his gf FINALLY! dang feel i already kno the girl haha but she mad cool though. we both went hard on bilal lol; after WALKED to denny's which is allllll the way on overland and jefferson. my doode. that's a far ass walk. but yea we chilled out there until momz picked me up.
• got home grubbed on some bayou grill red beans and rice! NEW ORLEANS STYLE!! ish was bomb.
• talked to the brodie chris like always lol and finally talked to HIS gf [who had beef w. me yesterday cuz she thought i liked him..] but she mad coo too lol

dang...i don't wanna say it...and i hate the media for makin me say it..but i need a doode. more like want i guess. i jus see all the homies have gfs and they talk about they're in love...and that's a hard thing...or a rare thing to come across when you talk to a doode cuz usually girls think that they're players or jus not lookin for anyone but really they are and haven't found the right grl yet. but i jus want wat they have. i thought i had it before...didn't work out as planned and now they wanna get back together. considering it, but moms doesn't like him cuz he made me emotional.

that's another thing i don't understand. how is it that when a person is looking for a relationship, either they can't find one or they're not happy with it. but when a person wants to take a break from the whole relationship scene, they all come floodin at you. in the words of my mother.."that's usually how it goes." and its so true. i was thinking i would have time before i go back to school to just focus on me and getting my mind right for fall. but all these doodes tryna get at me that i don't even want. and some of the doodes that i think are cool peeps are either taken or they don't see me like that

i've always had this sayin...even wen i was little "why like a doode who doesn't like you back? it's a waste of time." and that's how i got over doodes so easily. and i still do. i jus want someone who shows up out of the blue, something that's not forced, o natural, like meet at a sports game or the mall or somewhere decent instead of parties or a friend tryna hook his homie up, who's genuine and down to earth but still wants to show off just a little but to impress me. i'm just old school like that. i wish they're weren't cell phones so i can have that feeling of waiting by the phone and so a guy can actually have the guts to call me instead of txting, aiming, or myspace. it's ridiculous. that's such an easy cop out. cuz nowadays doodes don't kno how to talk on the phone with grls. it's sad. "soooo....wat do you wanna talk about." doode. YOU called ME. you should have something cooked up in your book of lines.

to be continued...