i must say

boys are confusing.
they act like we're the one's who are difficult when in reality we aren't at all. now i could totally break this down into topics into categories into subcategories bt im goin to spare you as well as my energy to type. i jus wanna let people kno that doodes don't know what they want or whenever they figure it out its all or nothing. all or nothing for a doode is sometimes not being able to stick to one person or nothing at at all. but we all kno they wanna have their cake and eat it too lol for some girls all or nothing is saying i want all of you want to be committed or none of you if you don't. like i sed this is just SOME i'm not stereotyping anyone this is just coming from me.

the thing i don't get is how are you going to invest your time and energy into liking someone for so long and intentionally not wanting it to go anywhere?? i don't see the point that's a waste of each other's time and i could be focusing on something that's worth it and i know where it's headed whether it be relationships, art, or dance.

also, hard to get. all relationships are, are a game of cat and mouse lol
someone always wants to be chased by the other becuase it shows their affection blah blah but i also know that some like to be the chaser because then they don't get bored. but sometimes i just wanna have someone. just be there. doesn't have to be a relationship. just someone you know who's always gonna be there.

bt i don't want this blog to become about relationships this is just giving you soundtrack to my brain hehe different 'songs' that can help explain the 'movie' aka my personality =]

eh. i'm tired only 3 hrs of sleep cuz i danced til 3. wonderful feeling i must say...at the time ahah now i'm taking a nap and then sex in the city with ma ma. no school tomorrow..i'll see what my good friend grimes is doing

btw:: 2 more days of school and 3 days of finals! beach on last day =]

so you think you can dance

i am absolutely in love with this show! there are some really talented and amazing people with points you would never evn imagine. and their lines are incredible! i hope that i too can become as advanced as they have.

now you may be thinking "o this is jus some grl who thinks she's a dancer" blah blah bt what most people don't know about me is that i've been dancing on and off since i was 5 years old =] i am in love with the arts itself and i haven't danced since january!! omg. that's almost six months. and my foot was shove in my mouth when i went to go see the dance recital on sunday.

i must tell you: magnificent. it was a show i would've liked to have been in and i regret not joining. now i am definitely going to auditions for next semester and i'm going to try and go back to lula's dance studio. who knows. but i am praying on my knees to God that i can go back. i hate the fact that i'm not as flexible or can't move around as much. i feel so restricted and confined to little space when i just walk around. it's so boring lol i love to move and be free! jump around and twirl! do pirouettes and jete's! hopefully this will come back into my life ASAP!! ...i jus need to find money for a 100 dollar class card lol or keep paying 15 dollars for a single class =/

i'll figure it out. and it's all worth it. =]

most people say dance is their life, i say dance is my soul.

irritated

im irritated that people always think i have an attitude.
i'm either the outspoken-opinionated one
or i'm the one with an attitude and it pisses me off.

okay lemme just say! i have no problem being the person with a voice and being able to get my point across. it's being mislabed and judged before even knowing the true situation that i have a problem with.

people act like they're so geniune in asking me if i'm okay when in reality i am just fine. and the sad part is they only ask when i'm "distant" when really i'm too myself and being an introvert. sorry if im not talking all the time and i need to reflect for just a moment. and then when something is actually wrong they don't want to say anything. and i'm not saying i'm a needy person or i want attention i'm jus saying if you were truly sincere with my feelings then you would know if something was wrong.

lets not forget that society plays a part in this too. they depict that every african-american woman has to be loud and obscene and always have something to say. known as the angry black woman. bt my question is why??? why can't WE be the ones that are reserved and speak our minds but not be "opinionated?" why is there always a negative connotation on how blacks should act?? this is one of the reasons why i don't like the society in which i live in. although there is freedom of speech, there is censory. maybe not physically but mentally. the pressure to censor ourselves because our way in conducting ourselves is rejected by others. and by others i don't jus mean whites bt i mean by everyone who is close-minded and doesn't understand that there too are people who know how to say what they mean and mean what they say not for the mere sake just to hear themselves speak. i'm tired of the labels that are placed not only just african-americans, but everyone else for that matter. yes we are each individuals and yes we may be similar to other people but by putting a label on someone you're taking away the right that they have as an individual for them to choose who they are or are not.

i kno i've been rambling but lately people...society has been bugging me and i would soo like to move away from this place. [california] and jus go to a foriegn country. or maybe not so foreign like my roots [aruba] or spain. shoot at least out of state just for a good month and i'll be good. bt we'll how australia and new zealand work out since im supposed to be goin there for about a month. [loove to travel. cnt wait.]