irritated

im irritated that people always think i have an attitude.
i'm either the outspoken-opinionated one
or i'm the one with an attitude and it pisses me off.

okay lemme just say! i have no problem being the person with a voice and being able to get my point across. it's being mislabed and judged before even knowing the true situation that i have a problem with.

people act like they're so geniune in asking me if i'm okay when in reality i am just fine. and the sad part is they only ask when i'm "distant" when really i'm too myself and being an introvert. sorry if im not talking all the time and i need to reflect for just a moment. and then when something is actually wrong they don't want to say anything. and i'm not saying i'm a needy person or i want attention i'm jus saying if you were truly sincere with my feelings then you would know if something was wrong.

lets not forget that society plays a part in this too. they depict that every african-american woman has to be loud and obscene and always have something to say. known as the angry black woman. bt my question is why??? why can't WE be the ones that are reserved and speak our minds but not be "opinionated?" why is there always a negative connotation on how blacks should act?? this is one of the reasons why i don't like the society in which i live in. although there is freedom of speech, there is censory. maybe not physically but mentally. the pressure to censor ourselves because our way in conducting ourselves is rejected by others. and by others i don't jus mean whites bt i mean by everyone who is close-minded and doesn't understand that there too are people who know how to say what they mean and mean what they say not for the mere sake just to hear themselves speak. i'm tired of the labels that are placed not only just african-americans, but everyone else for that matter. yes we are each individuals and yes we may be similar to other people but by putting a label on someone you're taking away the right that they have as an individual for them to choose who they are or are not.

i kno i've been rambling but lately people...society has been bugging me and i would soo like to move away from this place. [california] and jus go to a foriegn country. or maybe not so foreign like my roots [aruba] or spain. shoot at least out of state just for a good month and i'll be good. bt we'll how australia and new zealand work out since im supposed to be goin there for about a month. [loove to travel. cnt wait.]